Never learned

If this makes sense I'm going to be so surprised. I lied, I didn't want others to worry. I HATE YOU STOP THESE TEARS I started talking to them, the old emotions that came back felt so nice, STOP LEAVE ME it hurts so much, I can't stop crying the craving for heroin is so strong. I want to give in but I cant. Until I hear tomorrow is what will decide. I don't know what to do anymore. I CAN'T LET GO. I can't focus, I don't know what to do, I WHY I just want to punch a mirror smoke, drink go back to drugs. I can't do this. I need to fight some body I just I need pain. I feel so numb... Till tomorrow.... is when I find out and when we'll know what to do...