Is it wrong I want her dead?

When your parents never loved you it makes sense when you want to beat one of your friends who is dating your ex. Copy's what you like and thrives for attention. Thinking it has to be this way and making others look like crap saying I'm glad she left, why do you say that when she's one of your best friends? Getting things when she never did anything and you so all the hard work. She always pisses me off, and she fails to dance dirty (epic fail) as well as pose. Choosing the wrong people and doesn't care, she chooses the person who decides to mentally fuck someone up so they do hardcore drugs and cause of other reasons. Right choose *sarcastic* Now I don't give a shit about my ex but just everything, now why am I her friend? I don't know I don't really call her my friend anymore cause she never talks to me. Unless it's about things that I say then steals 'em call 'em hers. I don't even know the point anymore, she rather keep it but no matter how hard I try it fails. Maybe cause she took everything I ever wanted and flaunted it in my face.

I hate it when it's freezing cold and you can't help that your clinical depressed and not on meds. I stopped taking meds for one mental problem and it made me sick.

Yesterday I went shopping with the usual group (Ify, Pat and Stacey)it was really fun and I was glad i was able to get out of the house. After shopping I went back to Stacey's house, did her make-up and hair. Then we went to Audrey's Rave. It was really cool, despite someone was trying to dirty dance and it was an epic fail. The music was fun the man it made me miss going to raves and clubs. Had a good time but why is it that things happen when you're alone?

When everything is crashing? I swear sometimes I feel like gollum, okay me and gollum share the same problem. MPD, then again gollum didn't do drugs, he was too obsessed with the ring. ... I'm such a nerd.

My best friend edited the photo, I love it.

Well it's been awhile and I can say Sweet Comforting Lies is leaving me alone more. My birthday has already happened and family drama is going away.

my best guy friend gave me a credit card o_O weird I know, but he truly loves me, and me? Well kinda but not like him.

Nothing really is going on but with this aggressive wind is reminding of my first boyfriend and it's not good.

Good thing is I get to hang out with spacecadet (forgive me if that's spelled wrong) and two other amazing people.

"Monster, how shall I feel I feel" yeah deep down I am a monster, despite I can be nice there is a deep dark one. Just as well as my black heart. (I love Black Black heart). I almost went off yesterday and called my dealer thankfully I just walked in the freezing cold with wind beating my face.

I should update more. I'll try to.