Dreams can be nice but the remembering can be deadly

I usually have weird dreams and there's things in them that have a meaning and in someways I wish they didn't. It's impossible for me not to over think.

Like would the people who never talk to me actually try to stop me if I moved to somewhere else? The fact that I love Slytherin I do have Gryffindor qualities but in the end more of Slytherin. And the person who made me do heroin because of what she did to me STOP REMINDING ME and she has reminded me a couple days ago PLEASE STOP is reminded in my dreams and appear. Yeah two years of suffering and doing heroin THANKS BITCH why must these things appear in my dream? The others I don't care about but these two! STOP REMINDING ME It's driving me insane.

"I couldn't tell you why she felt that way,
She felt it everyday."
Everyday someone saying something or the feeling that made me use it, that now has given me side effects. Am I scary? I don't remember how I use to be and that's the scary thing.

"Her feelings she hides.
Her dreams she can't find.
She's losing her mind."

Ever since I went to who my parents rather have as their child YOU NEVER CARED birthday party is when it all started. The day after as well. The things the pretender didn't know but they did. And did it was starting to happen. Emotions, I never felt so happy. THANKS FOR DESTROYING ME SLUT.
"Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.
She wants to go home, but nobody's home."
There were times I thought wait a minute CAN'T HAPPEN and I listened to what people said SO TRUE but when things were bad they were there. FUCK YOU. The second year not so much because I was pulling away slightly.WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE LEAVE MY HEAD! I started to put some facts together like the one time they were on and she was on the phone I heard keyboard typing, on her computer their names were there to sign in. The fact her one friend who was forced to be the sister admitted. CREEPY SLUT LEAVE ME ALONE. But when they signed in and made 'em felt better I gave in till I said no they aren't real.IT'S STILL HERE, THANKS, HOPE YOU DIE. They can't be with the facts (they were more). And when she admitted it was when I was basically free basing two-three times a day. IT MADE ME SO MUCH BETTER AWAY FROM EVERYTHING.

"She's lost inside, lost inside"

"It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside."

I started to use heroin so much and when school started I did it the night before when I got back from school.MADE ME RELAX. Did anyone notice? NO ONE CARED No, hell I started to pass my classes but there was one thing I couldn't pass, OGT's. But I was always close when I was on it.

So why is my dreams reminding me of them? LEAVE ME ALONE! Was it cause I want them to be real and know I can be happy again? FUCK YOU EMOTIONS! Or is it because no matter where I go, I'm always going to be reminded. WISH I COULD SHOOT MY BRAINS AND STILL LIVE. Fuck I can't stand this anymore, it's driving me insane, it's making want to go back to my golden boy. MAKE ME FORGET AGAIN.